Do you ever see an accident waiting to happen and then in the next instant witness that very accident? As it's happening it seems to happen in slow motion. In fact, the whole event from picturing the accident happening to it actually happening seems to take forever. You try to get there but you feel like your legs are just wheeling in circles like in the cartoons. You know when their legs make those big dust clouds they are actually moving so fast but going nowhere.
This happened today with Emily...again. Accidents seem to follow her around. Not just any accidents either, things that really could have caused serious problems. Like the time she tumbled off the counter in her bouncy seat onto the wood floor below. Complete with and ER visit I felt like the most incompetent mother on the planet. Luckily again today she was completely unscathed from the injuries that Annalise could have caused her. Annalise was terrified at the harm she could have caused and Emily had a pretty good scare, but all water under the bridge now.
Today was another example of why I often include in my prayers for God, the Perfect Parent to fill in my gaps. At the end of every day I can look back and see all the things that I wish I would have done differently. Sometimes it's the things I say or the way I say them at a stressful time but there are always those things. Sometimes it's simply something I missed. It's amazing the gaps I can find in retrospect.
Wouldn't it be cool if we could live our lives in reverse, using all the knowledge we gain from looking at things in retrospect? Wouldn't we all make such different decisions everyday if we had all of the information ahead of time? If I somehow knew that Emily could muster enough strength to actually launch herself off the counter how much easier would it have been to just keep her on the floor or not in the bouncy seat at all that day.
But I guess if I had all the information ahead of time I wouldn't be dependant on God to fill in my gaps. I wouldn't have any gaps, I would simply fill them all before they could appear. The problem with that would be that I wouldn't be growing. I wouldn't be striving to be more like Him so easily. It''s through my gaps that I am humbled and realize that I am weak. If things were easy and always went smoothly it would be harder to need a Savior. The more gaps I have the more places I actually have for Him to fill me.
In this way, I think that gaps are actually little gifts from Him that actually make it easier for me to learn to be dependant on Him. It's sometimes hard to think of my shortcomings in this way but I find it helps a lot. My gaps keep my focus where it should be and I can trust that He can fill up the rest. I'm thankful that He knows everything, like when Emily is going to need some extra protection and that His legs get him there in time, unlike mine!
I guess that tonight during my prayer time I'll not only have to pray for Him to fill my gaps but thank Him for them and the constant opportunity for humility through them.
This happened today with Emily...again. Accidents seem to follow her around. Not just any accidents either, things that really could have caused serious problems. Like the time she tumbled off the counter in her bouncy seat onto the wood floor below. Complete with and ER visit I felt like the most incompetent mother on the planet. Luckily again today she was completely unscathed from the injuries that Annalise could have caused her. Annalise was terrified at the harm she could have caused and Emily had a pretty good scare, but all water under the bridge now.
Today was another example of why I often include in my prayers for God, the Perfect Parent to fill in my gaps. At the end of every day I can look back and see all the things that I wish I would have done differently. Sometimes it's the things I say or the way I say them at a stressful time but there are always those things. Sometimes it's simply something I missed. It's amazing the gaps I can find in retrospect.
Wouldn't it be cool if we could live our lives in reverse, using all the knowledge we gain from looking at things in retrospect? Wouldn't we all make such different decisions everyday if we had all of the information ahead of time? If I somehow knew that Emily could muster enough strength to actually launch herself off the counter how much easier would it have been to just keep her on the floor or not in the bouncy seat at all that day.
But I guess if I had all the information ahead of time I wouldn't be dependant on God to fill in my gaps. I wouldn't have any gaps, I would simply fill them all before they could appear. The problem with that would be that I wouldn't be growing. I wouldn't be striving to be more like Him so easily. It''s through my gaps that I am humbled and realize that I am weak. If things were easy and always went smoothly it would be harder to need a Savior. The more gaps I have the more places I actually have for Him to fill me.
In this way, I think that gaps are actually little gifts from Him that actually make it easier for me to learn to be dependant on Him. It's sometimes hard to think of my shortcomings in this way but I find it helps a lot. My gaps keep my focus where it should be and I can trust that He can fill up the rest. I'm thankful that He knows everything, like when Emily is going to need some extra protection and that His legs get him there in time, unlike mine!
I guess that tonight during my prayer time I'll not only have to pray for Him to fill my gaps but thank Him for them and the constant opportunity for humility through them.
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