Answer

A friend of mine recently posted a question on her blog asking who gets sick in the summer? I can now answer that question...we do!

I can honestly say that this is one of the nastiest colds we've had all year because I've got it too. I had a super wicked sore throat for 3 days and then it just went on from there. At first I just thought mine was allergies for various reasons but now that all my kids have it too it must not be. I am now on day 12 and there is not an end in sight. Sneezing, hacking, stuffy nose, runny nose, watery eyes (this has been going on since Wednesday and mine are almost swollen shut all the time).

Annalise cried about the very same sore throat for 3 days too. Usually she just takes colds as part of life but she just couldn't handle the sore throat this time. For both us our throats must have been super swollen or something because it totally changed the way we spoke. Certain sounds just didn't work right.

Then poor Emily. This is the first time she's been sick. Not bad for 9 1/2 months....a true benefit of breastfeeding. Anyway, she cried for 3 days and nights straight. There was no comforting her. Even when she was trying to sleep in my arms she whimpered with every breath she took. Obviously she wasn't getting any sleep (guess what that means for me) and would literally nod off during various times of the day. Her poor eyes were so red and swollen and she of course was covered in snot from head to toe.

Now we have Becca that has started. She was up crying a few times last night because her throat is so sore. Ugh!

My best piece of advice...stay away from us!

Gifted

Look closely. This is not just any old picture of Emily. It's actually a sketch my sister did of her.

I'm lucky enough to have such a talented sister that I have received sketches like this one of each of my children. It's breathtaking to see how she captures them so perfectly that you can still see the same personality that you see when you look at either a still photo or even look at them in person. I've literally gasped when 've looked at each one when I've seen it for the first time because they are are so lifelike on the paper.

I keep telling her she could make some serious money with these for other mothers. She of course rolls her eyes with criticism of her own work.

I happen to think she is truly gifted.

Thanks Stef!

Perspective

Don't you love it when something happens in someone else's life that gives you some perspective into your own? It's unfortunate that these situations are often tragedies for someone else as is the case in this situation. I don't like gaining wisdom at someone else's expense...it feels insensitive, but yet I think this is one of the reasons that God encourages us to be part of a body of believers. I think He meant for us to not only comfort each other in these situations but also to learn from each other in them.

I heard last week about the death of Steven Curtis Chapman's five year old daughter on the radio and have since done a lot of reading about it online. For those of you that don't know, Chapman is a well known Christian artist who has one 5o Dove awards..he's very talented. For those that may want to read more about him or his tragedy or send condolences you can find many different places to do so just by googling his name. I was on so many different sites that I can't even remember them to give them to you here.

Anyhow...His five year old daughter was run over by the family SUV driven by her older brother last Wednesday. Apparently Steven was on the phone at the time and somewhere I read the account of the person he was talking to that heard the whole thing happen. He heard Steven's screams and his attempt to perform CPR on his daughter. Can you imagine hearing this all...the sheer panic and then desperate attempts of a father?

At first I felt so bad for the Chapman parents...I think losing a child is every parent's worse nightmare. Then a short time later I felt so bad for the brother. Can you imagine running over your sister? They were a very close family; one that I would love to model my own after. The guilt he must feel must be incredible. I think he is only 16 and what 16 year old can process this?

Then after awhile it dawned on me that it must be so hard for Steven and his wife to comfort their son in dealing with his guilt and shame as the driver all while trying to process their own grief over their loss. Wow, what a tall order.

I have to say that these past days I've held on to my kids a bit tighter. I've put many household duties on the back burner to play another game of memory or yahtzee instead. I've tried to be more thankful for only the little difficulties that plague my life. I didn't bury my five year old. I've tried to be more thankful for my life situation that can feel so overwhelming at times. I'm not dealing with the overwhelming grief of losing one of my children. I've delighted in the escalating noise level of my four children that can seem to push me over the edge most times, more thankful to still have four children, or to even have four children at all. I've drunk in the loving interactions of my kids, so thankful that they all still have each other.

I've felt strength that the same God that is bringing so much comfort to the Chapman family is also the very same God that is there for me to give me whatever I need. If He can supply their needs, he certainly can supply mine.

In the reading I've done I've learned that little Maria was an amazing girl who touched so many in her short five year life. I have renewed conviction to make sure that my kids care most about what really matters in life. To teach them to have such a deep love for God and for others. To teach them that at the end of the day it's not what you've done so much as it is about how you've done it.

I think the thing I've gained to most though is the desire to make sure that my kids know how much I love them. There are so many days that when I finally get them all in bed that I wonder if they felt my love that day. Sure I've done their laundry, cooked them meals, cleaned their house, driven them around and even taught them school for 4 hours. All things that should show them I love them but did I tell them I loved them too? If tomorrow were their last day or mine would I have confidence that they knew that? I'm not so sure.

So we're taking more time to "feel the love" around here. I'm trying to be more intentional about things and attempting to be more expressive. We're focusing a lot more what really matters. Of course there are still the realities of life, the cooking cleaning, laundry, chores and school but that all can be framed much more in a context of love. Love can be interwoven into all those things too. Love between parents and kids, but also between the kids themselves. We're lingering more over the little things that often can get rushed right over in the busyness of life.

I've shared with my kids a little about the Chapman tragedy and even the kids are doing a better job of keeping the difficulties in our lives in a much better perspective. They have empathy for their family and are a bit more thankful for their own. They are learning a bit more about death, that it doesn't always strike only those who are sick, old, or those that we are a bit more distanced from. They are learning that death is very real and hard and doesn't always make sense. They are learning that through the tragedy of death we can learn to embrace life...and each other.

Naptime?

I am so tired of hearing about Annalise's loose tooth. Everyday she says that it is SSSOOOO loose and ready to come out. Mind you, she went to the dentist last month and he told her that it would be at least a couple of months before it was ready. As you can imagine by his information her tooth is hardly loose. But yet everyday, several times a day, we go through this routine about it needing to come out.

I wonder if God ever gets tired of listening to my whining about the same old thing. I'm asking for what I think is a good idea and he just shakes his head at my ridiculous ideas. Things that I think would be great but just aren't in His overall plan...at least not right now.

As I'm reminding Annalise about the importance of patience as she waits for her tooth I'm convicted by the words that are coming out of my very own mouth. I've been feeling so stressed at waiting for our house to sell and finding a suitable house as well. It seems every house we walk through is so overpriced and doesn't end up giving us much more room than what we have now. I spent all day yesterday planting flowers, cleaning up inside and outside, sorting papers and making sure that everything was ready for a showing that we have this morning only to find out that it was cancelled late last night. This is all part of buying and selling apparently, but am I strong enough to handle it?

Patience has never been one of my strong points. The frustration of living without all the stuff I've packed away in boxes only adds to my impatience. But just as I was explaining to Annalise that her tooth will come out in it's own time, when IT is ready (not necessarily when SHE is ready)I need to point my motherly knowledge back at myself.

I wonder if God gets tired of reminding me of this truth in my own life (somehow I think not). He's reminded me through the reminding my husband gives me on this matter. Jim is always telling me that my faith is stronger than I'm exhibiting in this situation. He tells me that I know that God will bring everything in His time but I'm not acting like it. God has also reminded me of the need for patience through profoundly appropriate devotionals that I've had this week and yes He's even reminded me through a loose tooth of my need to trust and have patience.

So much easier to explain these things to a 7 year old than to actually do them myself. She seems to accept the instruction from her mother easier than I seem to accept the same instruction from my Father. Right now as I type I'm going through the list of things I need to get done this morning before we leave for a second walk thru on a house this afternoon. Just as I begin to be reminded of the whole housing situation I can feel the anxiety beginning to well up in me.
"Patience my daughter" I hear from Him through the echo of my own voice this morning.

I have a new life verse right now...Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus...Phil 4:6-7. I need to take this verse and post it in every room of the house...except that I'm showing my house and it needs to be "de-personalized". I do seriously though need to repeat this to myself much more than I do. What a great verse for me right now.

My plan is to carry this verse with me today as we walk through this house and when I feel these feelings creep up; read, read, read and read again until the feelings dissipate.

Since Annalise seems to "get" this patience thing much easier than I do maybe this is an illustration of what God means when He calls us to have a childlike faith. Maybe this is why He says that the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. I think what He really wants me to do is act more like a kid in this situation...have patience that He's working on the housing situation and that I don't need to force His hand anymore than I need to rip out Annalise's barely loose tooth just to "hurry it along". Act like a kid trusting that He can handle it and instead of being all anxious and crazy-like, just experience the peace that He talks about once I have correctly presented my requests to Him.

I wonder if by experiencing that peace and acting like a kid He means that I should be taking a nap right now? Sounds better than unloading the dishwasher to me.

He's Finally Done

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that Jim is done with his internship. I say assume because he didn't actually tell me that he is done and he is upstairs sleeping, but since he didn't come home until the end of his shift, I'm guessing that was the outcome.

Before you get too excited for us you also need to know that it won't actually seem like he's done for awhile yet. His first night off won't be until Monday so he works straight through the weekend until then. But, at least having that to look forward to in the not too distant future is a bit exciting. It's really going to be great after next Thursday when he will be off Fri, Sat, Sun and Mon except for any OT he might be able to pick up.

A big thank you goes out to my mom who took care of the kids last night during my class. She also took Annalise to her last tennis lesson which she otherwise would have missed and been sooooooo upset about. Thank goodness my mom (who worked all day by the way) can always seem to help out in a pinch. Love you mom.

I want...

I have to say for the most part I'm glad that we live on a modest income. Today is just one example...

I told the kids when we were selling some of their stuff in the garage sale last week that they could use some of the money we earn to buy something from the store that they really wanted. I explained that we cleaned out a lot of junk and could trade it in for one really cool thing of their choice. That seemed to pacify them...they were actually excited to sell their stuff.

Today was the day they got to collect on my promise. I can say that I have NEVER taken my kids to the toy aisle and let them pick out something before. I was actually excited about it since they have never been able to do it before but soon found myself hating the whole thing. Way too much to pick from and they couldn't decide. It literally took Levi and Becca 45 mins and I am NOT a patient person when it comes to shopping...or waiting.

It felt so strange to let them pick something out and they really acted greedy about it....I want this, i want this, I want this, I want, want, want. It drove me crazy. Thank goodness we can't afford things for our kids to "want" normally, I would be exhausted.

Annalise knew she wanted a bed for her doll Kit so she was easy. I also felt the kids deserved a reward today and here's why.

This morning I actually decided to treat myself to a quiet breakfast by myself after I fed the kids. Just as I sat down to eat it I remembered I had baby food testing at 9:00. The clock said 8:56. So much for my breakfast as I packed up Emily(wearing only her onsie) and I still had my sweaty STINKY gym clothes on. On my way out the door I asked Annalise if she could put my breakfast (yes my hot steamy breakfast) in the sink so the cat wouldn't get into it...the older 3 get to stay home with Dad while he is sleeping.

I came home to find that the kids had done all the breakfast dishes, Annalise had put my breakfast into leftover containers and put it in the fridge and made more juice. None of these things I even knew she could do. Most of the dishes were even dried and put away too. I looked past the fact that there was a slight moat on the floor and when I poured myself a glass of juice it was actually steaming from the hot water that she used to make it. All that mattered is that my kids all put forth the effort to make my crazy day a bit better.

I think if my kids lived the "I want" lifestyle I just don't think I'd come home to find such special treats. I'm thankful that my kids are learning the value of thinking not of themselves but of others. They aren't thinking about what they want but of what I would want. They can see past themselves.

As much as I wish sometimes that I could afford to buy them more of the things they want instead of only what I can find at a good price, I wouldn't trade that for the huge smiles of accomplishment they had on their faces when I walked through the door...or even the scalding glass of juice I drank this morning. They were so excited to surprise me and what a great way to change what would have been a difficult morning.

Funny how God knows what we really do and don't need.

Check out my Slide Show!

So we have quite the stars over here. Levi had an excellent soccer game last night. Not only can he score goals but he is a terrific defender as well. He is not afraid of anyone and always aggressively goes after the ball. He always pays attention to what is going on and knows which goal is his. This is surprisingly difficult for many of the kids.
Then today we had Annalise teaching her sisters dance lessons. Being the terrific dancer that she is she is excited to turn them into terrific dancers as well. Rebecca loves it and follows every word she says.
Then there is Emily who is forever standing up against things and she even walks along things too. I just don't remember this going so quickly with the other kids. She changes daily!

It's May 18!!!!!!

So, we have been really excited that the countdown has finally arrived and it is Jim's last night of his internship, right? WRONG.

Jim did leave for his last internship ride and promptly returned 30 mins later. Why you ask? Well the scheduling lady messed up the schedule and he wasn't on the schedule. The supervisor in tonight said that since he wasn't on the schedule he couldn't ride, too bad for you.

No, I'm not kidding.

Now it will be prolonged for another 8 days...unless I either cancel my Lamaze class or teach it with the kids upstairs by themselves on Wednesday night so that he can take the opening to ride instead of taking care of the kids.

When he called me to tell me he was on his way home I didn't take it very well. Rebecca looked at me and asked innocently "Mommy, why does your face look like that?" I guess my blood didn't just FEEL like it was boiling, it actually WAS boiling and steam must have been pouring out from my eyeballs or something.

You know how it is when you are grasping on to one little string with everything in you? That's the way May 18 has felt for both Jim and I for the past 9 weeks, looking forward to the end...finally.

Now we are both officially exhausted. If you don't hear from me for awhile and you should have, don't worry...I think we both may just stay in bed for the next week, that's all.

This sucks, big time.

Say What?

So the older 2 kids are outside playing and Becca is inside putzing around by herself which is something she does really well. She is entertaining herself by doing one of her favorite things...singing of course.



We have these CD's in the car that were given to us by a friend that the kids absolutely love!!!! It is a bunch of kids and one adult singing various Bible verses...just short, one sentence verses repeated over and over and over again. At first listen these songs really drove me crazy but I've actually grown to quite like them. Not to mention that it has been the best way that the kids have memorized Bible verses yet. They've got plenty of other Bible verse type music but none of the others are quite so repetative so it really sticks. Annalise just spends time writing out the verses from memory quite often.



Anyway, back to Rebecca. This is what she's singing.



"Then your washer will appear, will appear, will appear, appear within a gulley, appear within a gulley, appear within a gulley. Colossians be push 4, Colossians be push 4, then your washer will appear, appear within a gulley."



Here is what the song really says



"Then you also will appear, will appear, will appear, appear with Him in glory, appear with Him in glory. Colossians 3 verse 4 Col. 3 verse 4, then you also will appear, appear with Him in glory."



Cute.

Tradition

What started out as a simple few minute event 6 years ago has turned into quite the event.

In keeping with tradition Grandpa watched the horse race with Annalise yesterday. He started it with her back when she was just over a year. I used to work every other Saturday, so she used to spend the day at his house. She's always been into animals and he really enjoys watching the race, not to mention the fact that Annalise has always loved doing anything with her Grandpa.

So, each year the group grows larger, all the kids now take part and the gathering has moved to our house these past few years. This year both my sisters were able to come too. The event now includes watching some pre race stuff and of course getting all the horses into their little starting gates as Annalise likes to see if any of them "get a little out of hand". Sometimes the event involves pizza or treats that Grandpa and Grandma bring but it always involves lots of fun and laughs. The kids look forward to it for each of the 3 races in the spring.

Traditions really are a great thing and something that I'm glad my kids are able to be a part of.

What DOES She Do All Day, Anyway?!

I thought I'd put the age old question to rest to illustrate the reasons why I have been too busy to do many of the things that I used to be able to more easily. Sorry to those of you who have called and haven't been called back, to those who would like their hair cut or hi lighted or to those who would like to have some quality bonding time. I am just a stay at home, work from home, home schooling, breastfeeding mom. Here is what my day looked like by 1pm.

1. Got up at 5:15

2. Breastfed the baby three times

3. Went to gym for 1 1/2 hours where I committed to running the 25K next year with a guy from the gym. I blame this totally on the fact that my day started at 5:15 am.

4. Made and cleaned up breakfast and lunch for 3 kids and 1 baby

5. Did 5 loads of laundry only running the dryer once which means hanging out various loads to dry on the clothesline outside.

6. Did food inventory and made shopping lists

7. Updated checking account and got deposits ready

8. Made a batch of chocolate chip cookies

9. Made a batch of rice crispies

10. Made Lamaze phone calls

11. Taught 1 1/2 hours of school....home ec for Rebecca...multitasking?

12. Rescued Emily from falling down the steps 19 times

13. Cleaned 1 bathroom

14. Made dinner for tonight since we'll be gone this afternoon and when I get back I have a client's haircut to give and clean up after

15. Grilled dinner...see #14

16. Set up for haircut...see #14

17. Graded schoolwork from past 3 days

I'm also happy to say that I've had a shower, am wearing make up and my hair is done. I even look pretty good minus the bruised chest with tape over a fresh incision and a healing incision from my surgeries the past 2 weeks.

I'm thankful for the help I received from my kids and husband. The kids helped fold and put away laundry and Jim dealt with Emily while he was trying to sleep and I was at the gym. This is what I found when I got home. Thank goodness Jim's internship ends this weekend and we can all go back to some sense of a normal life. After I catch up I should be able to do some of the before mentioned items!

Firsts

We've had lots of firsts around here lately.

Emily has started pulling herself up on just about everything. This has caused many bumps and bruises on her forehead since she often pulls up on little things like the trash can that can't support her weight and it ends up falling over and conking her on the forehead in the process. She has had a ton of fun with it though and the other kids think it's really fun to watch everything she gets herself into. She also has discovered some rock are her favorite new toy. They are in the bottom of a plant I have. She loves to take them out and crash them together. She must love the noise. Of course they are great for sucking on too.

I also had my first 10K training run. I have to say, I was quite impressed with myself for doing it. I used to run at least 6 miles back before I had kids but it's been awhile since then. I just did my usual 3 mile route twice. I ended up having a squirrel run ahead of me on the sidewalk for about the distance of 6 houses or so. I thought it was rather odd and was quite freaked out about it as friends in nature are not friends of mine. I questioned whether he would just decide to try and trip me or bite me on the ankle or something. Neither ended up happening...I think he just got bored and ran off. Anyway, I definitely have to figure out the pacing on it as I ended up having so much energy left by the last mile that I really stepped it up. I should spread that out so it's not all left at the end like that. I'll have to pace it out on the treadmill in the AM.

Levi scored his first goal tonight at soccer. It was so cool to watch. He really has become quite the soccer player in this very short span of time. I think we may have found his focus. I'll have to check in on some year round soccer. It was so fun to watch him throw his arms up in the air ans scream "YEAH", in that way that only boys can as he realized what he did. His teammate who is also a very good player, passed him the ball when he started to get hung up with the opposing team. After Levi scored this kid came over and gave him a big high five. It was really amazing to watch as Levi looked like he'd done this all his life. I wish I would have had my camera. I guess next week I'll be more prepared.

We have another busy week as I go in for surgery #2 tomorrow and Levi is getting his 2nd surgery for his chronic nosebleeds done on Thursday as well. It really did the trick when we had his first side done in the fall and since it has been so successful we decided it was worth putting him through it a 2nd time. We'll be a gimpy household over here for a few days but should be up and running again soon...literally. I have to take 2 days off after my surgery which just about kills me, but I guess it's better than overdoing it and needing to have it redone.

Jim's last week of his internship has finally arrived and just in time since I don't think either of us can put up with the stress and strain for even one more day past that.

We continue to search for houses...hopefully we can find some winners when we go out on Wednesday. It really is quite cumbersome...we won't be doing this again!

Garage Sale

What does one do at a garage sale? Anything but have a garage sale if you are one of my children. Garage sales are good for:

1. Playing with friends at Grandmas's house

2. Visiting with the neighbors

3. Eating snacks

4. Reading books with Grandma

5. Making a mess in Grandma's house...sorry Grandma

6. Making a mess outside Grandma's house...sorry Grandma

7. Breaking toys...sorry Grandma and Grandpa

8. Running over customers with the jeep

9. Eating snacks

10. Reading books with Grandma

11. Complaining about the things we're selling in the garage sale

12. Eating snacks

13. Rearranging the organized tables so that they're not organized anymore

14. Learning to walk with Aunt Stephanie

15. Eating snacks

16. Hanging out with Uncle Ben

17. Eating more snacks

18. Bothering the neighbors after repetitive visiting grows wearisome

19. Wasting a Saturday morning and early afternoon

20. Eating yet more snacks

We have one more day with the sale next week. All in all it was busy the first day but not so much after that. Thank goodness there is so much more to a garage sale than the actual sale!

Still Living

Yes, I am still here. Life has continued to go by at a frigtening speed with much activity this week which is why there has been no entry.

A few of the highlights have been...
1. Continuing to look for houses and walking through some. We have found one we're focusing in on at the moment but have much more information to gather about it.

2. After talking to a fellow runner, I have comminted to running in a 10K race in June to give myself somthing new to challenge myself with. Guess I'll be increasing my training time more regularly. I'm also going to take Annalise out with me for some shorter runs and see how she does. I would love to make a runner out of her!

3. Moving more furniture around to try to make our house more appealing for potential buyers.

4. Having a garage sale at my mom's house. I'll try to post pictures later.

5. Finally recovering from my first surgery last week and gearing up for my 2nd one next week.

6. Lots of tests this week for Annalise in school. Fun for her, lots of grading for me...yes she LOVES tests!!!

7. Trying to make it through these last 2 weeks of Jim's schedule.

8. Keeping track of Emily...a full time job right now as she is FULL of mischief!

I have no title for this blog entry because quite frankly, I'm too tired to think of one. I'm not going to elaborate because everyone has their own issues and no one needs to deal with mine also. But let's just say, I've reached my limit, I'm officially burned out, I am officially DONE with this internship thing...unfortunately I'm just two weeks early.

Add to that the fact that I need to paint a wall in my house to "neutralize" some color and move some major furniture around to help it show better. Add to that the fact that I have a week filled with appointments, literally running from one thing to the next with some of them overlapping which means I somehow need to figure out how to make it all work. And a teething baby.

Official burnout.

Thank goodness for Annalise's devotions tonight:

A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face: a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day. Pr. 15:13. Amen.

Now if only I could figure out how to get that cheerful heart right now I'd be all set. I look forward to figuring that out soon.

Life

The kids are changing so much from day to day I thought I'd update y'all. No, I'm not from the south I just thought that'd be fun to add.

Annalise is just finishing up school for the year. She isn't really in any grade as she is all over the board in various subjects. Our school year officially ends in June and for the most part it is at that point that she will be starting 3rd grade. If she were in regular school she would be starting 2nd grade as she is only 7. She has been flying through her language arts and her math that are both 2nd grade, so we'll just keep right on going. We continue to do school 2 days a week through the summer which allows us to be able to take a week off almost every month during the school year. It also keeps the daily schedule a routine happening as it is very easy to get away from the routine with too much time off and then it is a huge adjustment to start it back up again. It's hard to keep everyone on track including myself with too much time off. This way, school is more of just a way of life. I find that not taking an extended break also allows for much more retention of things learned and much less time spent reviewing previously learned things.

Levi is doing really great with his school as well. We don't officially start kindergarten until June but he is reading really well. He is getting to the point where he is actually enjoying it instead of just seeing it as a huge, annoying chore. He really takes an interest in learning about animals and certain things in history. His latest craze is the Titanic. He can't seem to learn enough about it. It's amazingly difficult to try to figure out what makes him tick. He also loves soccer and socializing with the other boys there. I think most times he does more goofing off than playing soccer, but these are important things too.

Rebecca is going to start reading in June. She is definitely ready and has been for quite some time. I have been holding her back to allow Levi to get farther ahead so that she doesn't surpass him too soon. I find such a difference between girls and boys in reading that I think it will go much quicker for Rebecca. Not to mention that she has already learned a lot just by listening to me teach Levi. Rebecca continues to be my challenging child as everything is her way only. For the most part I try to give her enough slack but also find myself having to reel her in more often than I do with the other kids. I continue to remind myself that she is just who God made her to be and this helps me to keep a healthy perspective during those times that I'd rather just wring her neck. She is often really sensitive and sweet also so I try to capitalize on those times as well.

Emily is all over the place and quicker than a bolt of lightning. If she could speak her mantra would be, "Look out world, here I come," She is fearless about everything and curious about everything within reach...or out of reach if she can figure out a way to get her mitts on it somehow. The good thing about her being so mobile is that she is quite independent and finds a way to get what she wants instead of still wanting me to get it for her or bring her places. She feels she no longer needs me at all...except to feed her of course. I think she might be planning to move out next week...if only she could figure out the milk thing.

A quick update on Jim. He will be finishing up his internship on May 18 at this point. Since that is only just over 2 weeks away, we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think the first day he has off he will spend just sleeping...perhaps for the full 24 hours as he has been getting by with about 3 hours for every 24 hour period for about the last 2 months.

I look forward to his internship ending to finally get a little help with the mundane things that are so time consuming really. Things like taking out the trash, cleaning up meals, folding laundry and putting kids to bed. These are things that doing by myself every day, several times a day have just worn me out. I might sleep for a day or so when he has his second day off.

We continue to prepare for the sale of our house and to look for what other options are out there too. I'll keep our plight with these things updated as they occur.

Trust and Obey

I need to again apologize to my faithful readers that are used to getting a little tidbit almost every day that I just haven't had much of a chance. Not that I haven't had lots to talk about as this is never the issue with me.

Part of the reason is that I went under the knife on Tuesday for round 1 of my surgeries and had forgotten how much pain is involved. Any free moment I have had, which have not been many, I have been laying down with ice on which makes it feel a ton better. I absolutely dread the fact that I have to do this all over again next week. This is yet another one of those situations where ignorance is bliss. Now that I have a reminder of the pain, it makes the anticipation worse. But, at least I can look forward to being cancer free again.

The Dr. joked around with me when I told him that my kids were just as fair skinned as I am. He said we better get used to playing flashlight tag outside in the middle of the night since that is the only time that we should be out in the sun! Seriously though, when we move our new neighbors will have to get used to my kids going outside at promptly 8am and then coming in around 10am only to go out again at 6pm until 9. This is something that we have done since I started really realizing how dangerous the sun is.

We also have been busy searching for houses. We really thought we had found the house for us. It had been on the market for almost 2 months with no real interest. Then all of a sudden people started coming out of the woodwork that had already sold their house so our contingent offer went out the window and now we are having to find someplace new. I just have this feeling that our house is going to go quickly and we need to some options at that point. I realize that I could be wrong and it could take forever, but really that would be ok with me. Except I would need to get back some of the things that I took out when we decluttered since we are just down to the bare minimum stuff now.

As we were out driving home from seeing a house, frustrated yet again at what seems to be out there I had an interesting thought that I shared with Jim that made me feel a bit better...Part of what has been so frustrating is that we really felt like we were following God's leading going full steam ahead trying to get that other house. The way we even discovered it was for sale was quite by accident. Now we just feel like the rug has been pulled out from under us and I have nightmares of being homeless or having to settle for something that we don't really want just to have a house at all. We are lucky to have Jim's parents that have said we could move in for awhile of we find ourselves in that very situation but that would not be the easiest thing since we have all our stuff that would need to go somewhere also. Not to mention 6 extra people would be quite a lot for anyone to deal with. This would definitely be something we would try to avoid.

Anyway, back to my thought yesterday...Won't it be cool someday when we finally find the house that He has planned for us if we can look back and see the various doors that have closed and opened that have brought us to the house we finally end up in? I realize that we can't always see the path retrospectively, sometimes we have to wait for eternity to get all the answers. I do think though that we might be able to make some sense out of the different connections that will bring us where we belong. This brings me a sense of peace that I have been looking forward to having again. We feel like we are going in all kinds of different directions, but just knowing that together they will all make sense whether we can see it or not makes me feel much better.

We are having our first open house here on Sunday. I just dread it, but know that it is all part of it. We'll just keep going forward so we can see what's ahead. This is one thing I've managed to learn over the past few years. God can't show us what He has planned if we don't take the first step. If we just stand still waiting for Him to open the doors, we can't see them. We have to first be walking forward in obedience, then He can show us which way to go. I find myself often singing that song I learned many years ago...trust and obey, when there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. I find that when I feel overwhelmed and confused lately, singing this little song makes me feel better.

Had to include a funny picture of Annalise. When I was packing up the closet early one morning...she was supposed to still be sleeping, she came in to visit. Sometimes we just have this quiet, special time together, although Emily was there too. Anyway, there she is reading (of course) wearing my high heeled shoes. Annalise has always had such an obsession with shoes. I think she may be a shoe aholic when she gets older. This sight made me crack up as it is SO Annalise!